FREE LIVE MUSIC FOR A FRIDAY EVENING

FRIDAY MAY 1st
ANDY GILES
DAN DIMAGGIO
U.S. GIRLS

@

Juanita & Juan's

125 North 11th Street (corner of 11th & Cherry in Chinatown)

Philadelphia, PA

STARTS PROMPTLY at 7pm

Contact info for KNOWN QUANTITY by WILLIE LANE

Those interested in KNOWN QUANTITY by WILLIE LANE, which was discussed in a previous entry, can send a note to silversleeve@gmail.com.

RR//TT #21-1 SOLD OUT

The 12" vinyl format of THE HUNCBACK E.P. by KURT VILE & THE VIOLATORS is sold out. Please do not try to buy it from me or my staff.

The CDEP format is available for $10 postpaid to TestosterTunes [at] gmail [dot] com. Please expect up to 2 weeks for delivery.

Other Voices...

Occasionally, voices other than that of God will be published on this web log -- voices that are under-represented in the Media. So here's the voice of first-time, long-time Max Milgram. We asked him to discuss a turtle, some ducks, and the correct way to roast some pork. Instead he got on his high-horse and decided to tell you all about some new record or some shit..

"Known Quantity" by WILLIE LANE
a review by Max Milgram

"Known Quantity" is a slow crawl through nocturnal guitar ragas and blues. Some of it is reminiscent of Sandy Bull at his most FX-damaged but this is much more time-warping and dislocating and much less mustache- and heroin-driven than Bull ever was. This also appears to be less linear, if I may be so bold, than many current and past six string wrestlers, giving a pleasingly disorienting and alien vibe. Lest anyone accuse me of uncharacteristic optimism, I guess I could complain that the song titles aren't racist enough. Regardless, this is an excellent contemporary psychedelic guitar burner that sounds equally at home during late night binge drinking as it does at an early morning frittata preparation.

TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT

It's the third Tuesday again.. time for Music Night at Atlantis: The Lost Bar w/ DJs Democracy & Penetrator. Guest bartender this time around... Cassandra. On the television? Phils vs. Brewers. Probably some NHL and/or NBA playoffs as well. Kenzinger Beer for $3 a pint. Cheap.

checking in with the HOMOSTUPIDS...

A photo of Lean Steve w/ Stupids manager, named in honor of an Irish poet who prefers to write in French.

Karen of Cleaner and Josh of the Stupids. Possibly dancing or cheering on a great American sports team like the Phillies, the Eagles, the Flyers, or the 76ers. Or maybe Bernard Hopkins.


Good news for HOMOSTUPIDS fans. The OG Skull Music group out of Clevo has granted us a rare glimpse into their fascinating minds. They've answered some questions for us. Their responses are just as coy and hostile as you would expect from these animals...

TestosterTunes: What the fuck is a Homostupid?

HOMOSTUPIDS: A sin.

TT: Which one of you guys is the leader?

HS: Ask Beckett our manager.

TT: Where do you get your ideas from?

HS: Our manager.

TT: You guys seem like you’re into snuff films and that kind of bullshit.

HS: That is a nonquestion.

TT: What can we expect from the Buffalo Sabers this postseason?

HS: Golf and heavy petting with the Flyers.

TT: How intimidating is it to be a working rock band in the shadow of the Hall of Fame?

HS: It is very inspiring all those artists have really done it.

TT: Do you ever see that Dave E. guy walking around or riding the bus or anything? How about Dwid?

HS: Who is Dave E. and how about Dwid.

TT: Does everyone in Cleveland abuse alcohol?

HS: I know you are but what am I?

TT: Do your neighbors like you?

HS: Yes.

TT: Do you parents respect you?

HS: VERY WELL THANK YOU.

Checking in w/ BLUES CONTROL

When the music ethnographers exhaust worthwhile periods and they get around to investigating the train wreck early 2000s, surely BLUES CONTROL will rank highly. Formed in Harlem, the duo was recently chased out of the greater-Brooklyn area for being overly in-touch with reality and insufficiently wacky and full of shit. Some readers may charge that BC's low-key avant-soothing sounds are inconsistent with the generally macho focus of this web log. To those people we say, "go fuck yourself."

Russ Waterhouse & Lea Cho will be choosing between-band music at Saturday's Cleaner gig (starts early... 8pm). They were characteristically gracious enough to answer a few questions in anticipation of the event..

TestosterTunes: What's the best album by the Scorps?

Russ Waterhouse: Wish I could say Virgin Killer, because of the killer cover, but it's pretty weak. Fly To The Rainbow is a favorite, but Love At First Sting was the hit, so that must be the best.

Lea Cho: Taken by Force is the most underrated early Scorps record. the last song sounds like a chorus of mail-order brides...Sharkey would probably be into it.

TT: Better frontman.. Larry Lifeless or Diamond Dave?

RW: Larry David.

LC: When a man wearing a Boston Sewer Commission t-shirt puts his arm around you, asks if you know "Adolf Satan", tries to make out with you, and then takes you backstage to demonstrate power tools.....how can you not be infatuated??

TT: Spring rolls or egg rolls?

RW: Egg drop soup. The mo egg the better.

LC: I got some hot wings that'll last all night.

TT: What size t-shirts to you guys wear?

RW: XXXL, with a Padres logo. U Gotta Go 2 Mo's 4 That.

LC: I prefer a mens small. If you don't have any, just use Max as a reference.

Checking in with THE LAMPS

THE LAMPS are a fine vitriolic guitar band from the Los Angeles area and they don't sound half as delicate as the above photograph suggests. Truthfully, they produce the type of reductive, lashing-out type of rock music that we can all agree kicks ass. THE LAMPS have two self-titled full-lengths on In The Red that definitely kick ass and a handful of singles that probably kick ass. In fact, THE LAMPS kick enough ass to warrant an invite to CLOCKCLEAN ER's final gig in Philadelphia. There's a first time to visit the east coast for everyone. Catch 'em at that event or in NY if you didn't meet the standards for the Philly performance. Have a listen for yourself right here.

Here's what frontman MONTY BUCKLES has to say for himself...

TestosterTunes: What the fuck is a Lamp?

Monty Buckles: Got the idea sitting in someone's car in the pacific northwest watching streetlights go by. Like non-specific names that can kind of mean anything.

TT: Do you actually think it's worth your time to visit the East Coast?

MB: That remains to be seen. Here's hoping. I've never been to Philadelphia. Hopefully be able to see the Liberty Bell or something. Honor & a privilege to be asked to play C.C.ER's last show and get to play with a bunch of great bands. Looking forward to playing for people that haven't seen us before & haven't had their minds poisoned by our vast track record of lot's of lackluster local shows.

TT: Here's one for the singer.. why so angry? What's all the yelling about?

MB: Dunno, at first it just seemed like the easiest way to try and sing when you're tone-deaf with a voicebox like an old rock. Just seems better then 'singing' - makes me picture dipshits at a piano belting out show-tunes, or longhairs wailing over 60's inspired drone, or sensitive folky types warbling out of their beard-holes. Lots of local bands, with overly ambitious, anti-intellectual, pretentious vapid copycats make me want to go out to skin them alive and roast them on a spit.

TT: What do the Lamps prefer.. long-boarding or water-skiing?

MB: I went water skiing once when I was a kid an immediately erupted into cowardly, shameful. tears. Went surfing once and spent most of the time getting water forced into every cavity in my dome while getting scraped on the bottom. Beach culture makes me want to start an oil spill, or at least choke someone to death. Tim likes surfing.

TT: L.A. is known for fit bodies and plastic attitudes. What's your secret to success?

MB: All the cliches about LA are true. Everytime I am ready to defend the place I'll meet someone that should be executed on the spot to prevent their pestilent and awful genetic material from further contaminating the already vastly imperfect gene pool. Lots of dumb and shallow people. But there are also great pockets of humanity, little oases of people that are all the more remarkable for where they have taken a foothold. Roses growing in shit.

If I ever get successful, I'll let you know, constantly have a financial sword over my head. If you look up my credit the video from The Ring comes on. Right now I have received a summons for nonpayment of debt, might have my bank account seized, have been having to sell things to make rent, have no idea how I am going to pay for a variety of bills that require attention not to mention my rent. Also, I am single and spent my considerable spare time glowering or feeling sorry for myself instead of getting things done. If my life was visualized, it would be a guy on a treadmill not going anywhere. If I had known how my life would turn out in this no-longer young period of full-fledged adulthood, I would have slit my own throat long ago. If anyone wants to know how to do any of these things, I'll happily share any lessons glomed from a misspent and puerile life.

TT: How do you guys feel about the Sex Pistols?

MB: I like them. Great powerful production, good clever/stupid lyrics, and its hard to fault Steve Jones, silly as he may be. Has aged well, tickles the wanna-drive-fast-and-sing-along gene but good, and Lydon had great tastes. McClaren can dry up and fly away, though.

TT: Any new Lamps music that we should start getting wet for?

MB: Have like 1/3rd of new record written, more or less. We've been practicing WEEKLY (a Lamps record!!!) for a few months now and intend to try and record another full length to vast local indifference.

thanks dude.....

HARRY KALAS: "2008 World Champions of Baseball"

RIP HARRY KALAS

Some Jewelry

all right...

What an attractive hard rock band.

CLEANER gig in Philadelphia, PA USA coming up soon.. Saturday April 18. Show up on time for rare east coast appearances from the HOMOSTUPIDS out of Cleveo and the LAMPS from way out in the Los Angeles region. PINK REASON is going to be there as well, hopefully as a full-on rock ensemble. And let's not forget RUSS WATERHOUSE & LEA CHO of the avant-lick, skull-embraced BLUES CONTROL jocking some hot tunes on the hi-fi over the course of the evening.

And we're not just letting every Tom, Dick, or Carrie into the venue. Plead your sorry case to Steven@r5productions.com to see about cramming your sweaty, soft body into the bar and making a miserable evening into something altogether unbearable.

a roving gang of thugs, a black-mailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...

Checking in w/ BIRDS OF MAYA

Some hard rock bands are slick, and some are sleazy. BIRDS OF MAYA are both. For the most part, two knuckledraggers lock into some type of drooling pound/groove while a third dirtbag skips around like he's standing on hot coals and he teases about 2 thousand bent notes out of his Mexican Strat. Burn with em tonight at the Silent Barn in Ridgewood, NY w/ KURT VILE and tomorrow night at Danger Danger in Philadelphia w/ BLUES CONTROL, & MEG BAIRD.

We bribed the BIRDS for an rare interview at their practice space inside of an abandoned and unusually small walk-in freezer. Here's the answers that they were able to agree on between fits of coughing...


TestosterTunes: What the fuck is a Bird of Maya?
BOM: Some nonsense Tommy Hall made up

TT: So time travel… do you dirtbags jet to the past or to the future?

BOM: The future's uncertain, and the end is always near

TT: Sometimes I see you greaseballs at the bar and all you do is giggle uncontrollably. Do you have a favorite comedian?

BOM: Mitch Hedberg!

TT: Who dresses you guys?
BOM: What's that supposed to mean?

TT: The Doors. Pro or con?

BOM: way pro

TT: Do your neighbors like you?

BOM: Jason's the block captain

TT: Do your parents respect you?

BOM: as much as you would expect them to

THE HUNCHBACK E.P. on C.D.E.P.

Yo world.. THE HUNCHBACK E.P. by KURT VILE & THE VIOLATORS is now available on compact disc.

$10 ppd to the USA
$12 ppd to Canada/Mexico
$15 ppd to the World

If you own or manage a music retailer, get in touch. We deal direct.

The reviews for this E.P. are overwhelmingly positive. Here's one from a guy named Larry at Blastitude..

KURT VILE & THE VIOLATORS: The Hunchback EP 12" (RICHIE) Mr. Vile's 'official debut' full-length Constant Hitmaker was Blastitude's favorite album of 2008, but on this brand new follow-up he kinda sidesteps away from the one-man constant hitmaking... now he's got a backing band and they casually throw down a few loud machine-trance workouts, getting into a cool grinding city rock, a little more brooding and grim. On the first album there was a fair amount of sun breaking out of the haze, but now it's definitely night-time. Also, this EP doesn't use any of the zoned-out solo fingerpicking styles that are on the first album, and while on first spin that was slightly disconcerting, on second, third, and now fourth, I don't mind at all. Mainly because the Violators are a serious band - drummer is basically perfect, and so is the way the other two (on guitar, bass, baritone guitar, more) blend with KV's six-string brilliance. I don't even mind that four out of the six cuts are instrumentals, or that the record is over way too fast... makes it that much easier to play it again and again...