SPOTLIGHT ON: Spring Training & Off-Season Acquisitions

Here's a piece filed by international Philadelphian John Sharkey. He's been on the other side of the globe for some time and it seems that the distance has given him some perspective on our Phils.

Unfinished Business. Phillies Spring Training 2010 Hello my fellow Americans and lovers of all thing fair and true, it's that time again when the grass has risen green and the smell of victories near and far flow from the every enthusuatic pore of the pretzel man. When fathers, if not for only a few months, love their sons again. When the common stranger on Shunk Street becomes a familiar acquaintence if not a true soul brother. When we all stop fantasizing about how much rope we would need to hang Donovan McNabb's entire family. When punks and jocks alike come together to taste the sweet possiblity of champoinship glory, just like the end of Major League (good movie). I'm talking about Phillies Spring Training, what a grand feeling is upon us..... I'm sure the man on everybody's mind first thing is big-money acquisition Roy Halladay and why shouldn't it be. I mean, we did give up the one truly holy member of last years pitching staff, the mighty Clifton Lee, to attain him. This came as a shock and a blow to all the Phaithful, your emminance included, that we'd cast aside the beast with the grease after his stunning performances in games 1 and 5 of last years dismal Fall Classic. Seems like betrayal. But yet this is a business to some and the mighty Halladay deal was done before you could say Judas. We'll have to cry ourselves to sleep as Roy shows up like a warrior sharpening the mace everyday at 6am for training to fill the shoes left behind. I'm not sure it will be a problem for old mate. Stew on this thought for a minute; Halladay=better pitcher. Cliff Lee = better dude. I don't believe for a second that this move was a lateral one and the possiblity of this pitching staff getting it's shit together for 2010 with Halladay a part of it makes my chones tickle. He simply is the best pitcher in the Majors. I think we'll all stop belly-aching around mid-april if my predictions are correct. It's a new day, let's live it. The Big Man Ryan Howard returns to Clearwater to handle "unfinished business" left over from last season referring to the WS loss to the drug cheats up the turnpike. A svelt Howard weighing in at about 245 has come to training ready to slay all that stands in his way. "Last year didn't go the way we wanted it to. Hopefully everybody come in here with the mind set of unfinished business. We all get locked-in and have good Spring Training and carry it out through the season". If last years 45 dingers and paltry 14 errors is any indication of whats to come The Bat is definitely not fucking around. WATCH OUT, BRO! Chase Utley has been hitting the weights on the off season apparently as he reported to camp looking like an ox thats been cock-teased for 3 months and last year's (first half, at least) golden rod latin lover Rual Ibanez has reported healthy and ready to fight. Ibanez, who suffered from a sports hernia throughout the second half of last season had abdominal surgery this winter and is looking forward to making the big bell rock on a nightly basis at Citizens Bank Park. I know we all didnt buy these shirts for nothing...... Korean righty and worthless traitor Chan Ho Park has declined the Phils offer of 3.25 mil to relieve and instead opted to sign a one year aggreement with the Yankees for 1.25 mil plus 300 grand in incentives. When asked why such a horrendous move was made he replied in broken english that "I have chosen the Yankees, a prestigious team that can advance to the Wolrd Series again." Well, Parky the last time I checked the Phils weren't chopped liver. What exactly are you trying to have translated? Well, I wish nothing but the best for you and hope you enjoy your time being Joba Chamberlain's foot-stool and Andy Petites syringe receptacle in the bullpen for most of 2010. I'm not really sweating Park's departure now that Danys Baez was a acquired to fill some gaps in the bullpen. A career ERA of 4.04 is not something to salivate over but the righty has experience and with 114 career saves and a WHIP of 1.31 I'm betting the sabermetricians are putting their money on this man. Bring on the Cuban heat! 2008 World Series MVP and 2009 Expert Whiner Cole Hamels reportedly is "more mature" and "ready to put last year behind him". I guess his grandmother had stern words for the boy as she rode him all winter about his house chores and his team moral bulding skills. I hope he put as much work into a 3rd pitch as he did massaging granny's bunions. Speaking of melt-down mothers, Brad Lidge- the man responsible for 11 blown saves and numerous beaten wives last year - is reportedly in great shape after having surgery on both his elbow and knee during the off season. Last monday Lidge fired from the mound and "felt great!". Hopefully feeling great and not pitching with a Parkinsonian tremor go hand in hand. I myself am hoping for the full recovery of good ol' Lights-Out. Prodigal son Placido Polanco has returned to the hot corner for the Fightin's and this man couldn't be happier about it. I'm sorry but Pedro Feliz and his 35 errors and mercurial plate presence last year is not worth 5 million dollars (He and Brett Myers can enjoy the sultry sounds of Geto Boys reunions down in Houston while we enjoy the sounds of violent victories) This copiously domed Dominican will surely strengthen the Phil's infield to a force as impenetrable as an Amish singles night. All in all children I think we have here a team so focused on their third World Series run that not even J-Roll's jinxing predictions could taint them. Everything is falling into place. The core players have remained intact, Jayson "The Rooster" Worth has grown a grizzly facial mess now looking like a homeless Godsmack, Blanton and Victorino got good new money in arbitrations and Chooch Ruiz finally getting paid a salary more than his part-time dishwashing side gig after games last year. I can see why the world has them poised to be the first National League team to make it to the Series 3 times in a row since the Cardinal back in '42, '43 and '44.Even the man behing it all, Charlie Manuel, just has one thng to tell his boys: "Just Win!" I for one have a hankering for another parade where man, woman and Puerto Rican alike can come together in brotherly love on the streets of Philadelphia, embrace like siblings and proudly loot as many Luggage stores as their blackened hearts desires. Unity. Fuck the Mets. Fuck the Drug Cheats. Go Phillies! JSIII

MegaJam Booze Band youtube vid

Yo peep this vid of the Booze Band live on a big stage. Filmed by a nice girl with a camera.

HOMOSTUPIDS in Pittsburgh, New Brunswick, & Providence

Hey readers... Three lucky towns are being rewarded with HOMOSTUPIDS appearances pretty soon. Why these places? Who knows. Why now? Who cares. Who wants to live in this places? Not me. But if you do have the chance, just go see 'em and sip a beer and just accept The Load have some laughs with your peers.

Thursday Feb 25 in Pittsburgh @ a house on Harrison St

Friday Feb 26 in New Brunswick, NJ @ some house w/ WATERY LOVE

Saturday Feb 27 in Providence, RI @ 17 Mules

Megajam Booze Band for Saturday night in Phila

Yo here's what it looks like in the room where the Megajam Booze Band rehearses one song at a time for this event..

SPOTLIGHT ON: Some Snow; a Photo Essay

KURT VILE BACK ON THE AIRWAVES... PLAYING THE HITS AND HITTING PLAY WITH SULLY

Very recently, old buddy Kurt Vile woke up unusually early to accept an invitation to revisit Sully's MUSIC FOR YOUR METHLAB program on terrestrial radio WKDU 91.7 FM in Philadelphia. He brought with him his sunny disposition, his trademark cackle, his luxurious wavy auburn locks, and a boxful of timeless tunes. Check below to peep the playlist and to download the broadcast in 3 chunks.

MUSIC FOR YOUR METHLAB is the Delaware Valley's longest running and most listened-to drive-time radio broadcast ever. It's been around for years and it's a Thursday morning ritual for thousands of faithful commuters. Barring the university's closing or the occasional massive hangover, it'll air each and every Thursday morning from 7-9 AM EST. Tune in for the broadcast on Feb 11 as Sully welcomes the Monthly Visitor and his presentation of SPOTLIGHT ON: Law & Order.

MUSIC FOR YOUR METHLAB – 7AM to 9AM – 2/4/10 – WKDU 91.7 FM – WWW.WKDU.ORG

Digital Dinosaurs – Elephant Germs

Jack Nitzsche – The Lonely Surfer

Coloured Balls – Just Because

Vendino Pact – Secret Thinking

Imperial Pompadours – Gemini Spacecraft

Blood Chains – Tired Guy of the Road

Revolutionaries – Dunkirk

Kriminella Gitarrer – 36 Patroner

Joni Mitchell – Morning Morgantown*

The Fall – English Scheme*

Der Fluch – Die Nacht der Toten

Dyke & the Blazers – It's Your Thing

Neil Young – Lotta Love*

Stevie Nicks – Stand Back*

Yoko Ono – Mindtrain*

John & Yoko / Plastic Ono Band – Sisters, O Sisters*

Iggy Pop – New Values*

Scientist – Round 1

King Jammy – Slow Motion Dub

Zior – Cat's Eyes

Swell Maps – New York*

Beck – Pink Noise*

Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band – Against the Wind*

Modern Lovers – Hospital*

Nerves – Hanging on the Telephone*

A.P. Carter and the Carter Family – Chewing Gum*

Swirlies – French Radio* + In Harmony New Found Freedom*

Prince – Something in the Water (Does Not Compute)*

John Fahey – Horses*

Ramones – I Remember You*

Bee Gees – Melody Fair*

The Original Sound Track from the Film: Black Orpheus – Samba de Orfeu*

John Prine – That's the Way That the World Goes 'Round*

Television Personalities – Diary of a Young Man*

The Stonemans – I'll Be Here in the Morning*

* DENOTES PICK BY KURT VILE

CO-HOST SCHEDULE…

NEXT WEEK – 2/11: THE MONTHLY VISITOR (SPOTLIGHT ON: "LAW AND ORDER")

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:::DOWNLOAD THE SHOW:::

7 to 8 - http://www.sendspace.com/file/vp5yqw

8 to 9 - http://www.sendspace.com/file/yu29ld

9 to 9:05 (Stoneman capper) - http://www.sendspace.com/file/v5ivxa

Is Anybody There?

The tune that HOME BLITZ made famous..

HOMOSTUPIDS vid from Now That's Class in Cleveland

So I had the extreme pleasure of seeing OG Skulls HOMOSTUPIDS play some tunes at Now That's Class in Cleveland a few weeks back. Check them run through a couple of decidedly subdued takes on a few typically blazing cuts. Enjoy...

Turn of the year Photo essay.... Parade of the Horribles

Here it is, readers and followers. It's a photo essay spanning the years 2009 and 2010. And each photo snapped in a span of a week. All walks of life are represented... Mummers, Violators, Johnny Ramone's guitar, Cleveland trash, Philadelphia garbage, a Purling Hisser, Homostupids, Total Jackasses, Partial Jackasses, etc. It's a mixed bag.

Spotlight On: TACO LEG

(a photo of American John Sharkey standing next to 2/3 of Perth's TACO LEG)

A while back, I went on a trip to a real crappy country called Australia. My gracious hosts introduced me to some world-class curiosities. The Carlton Blues? Vegemite? A measly pot of beer? Blundys? These things were new to me. I had heard of a strange town surrounded by the ocean and thick jungles, but nothing could prepare me for Perth. It's a place where the locals communicate by a secret system of head nods and all the liquids are carbonated. All of it. The orange juice, the milk, the water in the toilet, everything. Some thoughtful townies flew in a flat bottle of Makers Mark Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whisky to calm some American nerves. The music in this place? Well, Rupture were some lege cunts and they have a wing at the Perth Folklore Society. These days? Taco Leg is it. They've got a wild shirtless drummer, the greatest one-fingered guitar player in all of Australia, and a singer whose stage demeanor alternates between running in place and standing perfectly still. They just released a fine single on the Fan Death label and they performed some Black Flag tunes recently. Learn more about them here and give a listen to that Flag set over here.

All questions answered by Andrew and Richard. Thanks Heaps.

So what the fuck is a Taco Leg?

A band from Perth. A stupid butthole surfers reference. A joke that became a reality. An excuse to do a lot of awesome/stupid things.

Is that song "Freemason's Hall" a love song?

Yes. It’s about my love for a building that was demolished before I could visit it. We don’t have many love songs. They are mainly about TV shows and buildings I like.

Are you trying to tell me that Perth has some outstanding architecture?

Yeah it does, but as a lecturer once said, Perth has a lot of great architecture, you have to adjust your definition of what 'great' is. During the 50s and 60s I think we produced some of the best modernism in the country, Council House is a fantastic example. We have done pretty well for a country town, although we have nothing on Philadelphia..

So you guys played a bunch of Flag tunes off of Damaged. How did all that come about?

We got asked to play this show on a Sunday night at a restaurant, where the bands are usually background type muzak. For some reason we got asked, and were told to cover a whole album. We chose Damaged because we know it, it’s easy and it is good. We only had 2 practices to learn it. It was a lot of fun; all these power violence dudes came down and yelled out all the words. Someone was bleeding by the end of it. It was really just an excuse to live out our hardcore dreams.

True or false. Perth is kind of weird.

True. Very weird. It is good fun though most of the time. It is really hot at the moment, 40 degrees. That is pretty weird.

Perth is also super incestuous. If you have lived in Perth your whole life then you don't meet 'new' people, you just meet people that someone you know already knows. There is only one degree of seperation between everyone in Perth.

Is every magpie a fucking asshole?

Probably, I haven’t met them all. Mick Malthouse is, traitor. Every magpie that swoops is. I got swooped by one walking to school. True story.

Have you guys played out of Perth much?

Never. We are going on tour for the first time in February. We are going to Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney with Golden Staph. If we can get a grant, we are going to America as well.

What can the world expect from TACO LEG in 2010?

A split tape release with Constant Mongrel, the above mentioned tour(s), and a video clip that Fan Death made for us! Hopefully we release some other stuff and play more shows.

HOME BLITZ weekend

Yo Mid-Atlantic fans... don't forget to go and catch HOME BLITZ live in concert this weekend in Philadelphia and New York. Set your web browser to http://www.yellowgreenred.com/?p=1134 and peep a highly interesting interview with New Jersey's greatest treasure and HB's own Daniel DiMaggio.

RR//TT: Yo Dan, do you need your razor blade back?

Dan: Nah you can keep that. I'll find another one.

Friday Jan 8

@ Johnny Brendas

Philadelphia

HOME BLITZ w/ KURT VILE & THE VIOLATORS, STRAPPING FIELDHANDS

Saturday Jan 9

@ Death by Audio

Brooklyn, NY

HOME BLITZ w/ ROT SHIT, BLUES CONTROL

A Warning

HOME BLITZ OUT OF PHASE on 12" vinyl LP.. all gone

It's for sale and it comes with a lyric sheet and an mp3 download. It was written, performed, and recorded by Daniel DiMaggio in Princeton, NJ and it was mastered to vinyl by Bob Weston at the Chicago Mastering Service in Chicago. What does it sound like? It sounds like the greatest album that HOME BLITZ has ever released on Richie Records // TestosterTunes.

THIS RECORD IS SOLD OUT FROM RR//TT. Try your favorite record store or online music retailer for a copy... Or buy one from the band at an upcoming performance... And if you've already placed an order, don't be afraid. Mine is a label that respects the sanctity of the paypal transaction.

Prices..

15$ to the USA

17$ to CANDADA

$25 to THE REST OF YOU

prices postpaid, paypal to TestosterTunes AT gmail DOT com

Q: Will it arrive in time for a Christmas gift?

A: No.

Q: Can I expect to see this album at my local independently owned music outlet?

A: Certainly, if it's a good one.

Q: When will I have the opportunity to see HOME BLITZ play live?

A: In Philadelphia at Johnny Brendas Jan 8 w/ KV & the VIOLATORS and Strapping Fieldhands. In New York Jan 9 at Death by Audio w/ BLUES CONTROL and ROT SHIT. In Texas at SXSW if you're lucky.

Pink Reason in Brizzy

Here's a treat... it's a youtube video of Pink Reason recorded down in Brisbane, Aus. It's an uncharacteristically sunny tune called "Down on Me" and it's performed by the toughest sounding PR lineup ever assembled.. Jewel/Horseshit/Failure.

HOMOSTUPIDS "The Load"

Well, the calender has just about turned over and we still haven't discussed The Load by the HOMOSTUPIDS. Time to correct that oversight. After all, this web presence was originally conceived as a fan site devoted to the Stupids. These guys been at the forefront of black-hole Skull Music ever since Handsome Steve Peffer learned to program a drum beat. It really hit the fan when he picked up an undersized bass-guitar and tracked down a couple of creeps to fill out the lineup. In a time when every twit on earth seems to get a homemade tattoo, throw reverb on his vocals, and start a band in brooklyn, Cleveland's Homostupids stand alone as the pre-eminent scuzz/hate group on the planet. The only one worth a nickel, really. Some circles have been anticipating this release for a while, as it was rumored that the whole album had been shelved. They've been fluffing us for a while with vinyl-only singles of questionable value on obscure labels and rare appearances outside of Ohio, but this is pretty much it... the second full-sized record. It's got about a dozen tracks on it, and it just barely exploits 24 inches of playable surface at 45 rpms. It gives some nods to GG, it's provocative, and it shows some unexpected swagger. Besides, every single record ever made would be improved if it had 'Flies Die' on it...

MJBB

Well here's a real piece of art. It's a photograph of some buzzing amps that the Mega Jam Booze Band uses to rehearse one tune at a time. And there's a couple drums too. Some guitars as well. Anyway, you readers can expect some update at some time. There's a lot to discuss.. new Homostupids LP "The Load", Purling Hiss, some live Home Blitz dates, KV trucking out to the midwest, etc. You might as well know that the Puerto Rico Flowers are resurfacing in Australia. Just use google to learn more about those topics. Here's that photo..

HOME BLITZ

NJ's HOME BLITZ has a new album out called "Out of Phase". It kicks a lot of ass and it's only on compact disc at the moment. Send $10 to TestosterTunes@gmail.com if you live in the USA and want a copy. Check back to learn about vinyl availability. It'll be soon enough. Peep some live dates and look for more info at myspace.com/homeblitz...

Dec 12 2009 8:00P

Silent Barn Ridgewood, New York

Jan 8 2010 8:00P

Johnny Brenda’s Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Jan 9 2010 8:00P

Death By Audio Brooklyn, New York

Red October

The Train Keeps A'Rolling

BLUES CONTROL is gettin' rolling on a nationwide tour. They've been especially vicious after marching all over the EU. The Denton appearance is rumored to be in a mirrored bar that caters to homosexuals. Go check em out and bring em some shit and take a peak at their merch table for a handsome tshirt...

Oct 16 2009 8:00P
DANGER DANGER w/ Watery Love, Puerto Rico Flowers, Her Dead Twin Philly, Pennsylvania
Oct 18 2009 9:00P
BAR w/ Estrogen Highs New Haven, Connecticut
Oct 19 2009 8:00P
THE SHOP w/ American Sphinx, Expo ’70, Brian! Ithaca, New York
Oct 20 2009 9:00P
THE BOG w/ Agnes, Fulmarine Petrels Scranton, Pennsylvania
Oct 21 2009 8:00P
GARFIELD ARTWORKS w/ Puffy Areolas, Centipede Eest, Cottonballman Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Oct 22 2009 8:00P
ART DAMAGE LODGE w/ Wild Gunmen, Puffy Areolas, Nebula Girl Cincinnati, Ohio
Oct 23 2009 8:00P
LISA’S OAK STREET LOUNGE w/ Sapat, Raw Thug Louisville, Kentucky
Oct 24 2009 6:30P
EMPTY BOTTLE - early show w/ Michael Columbia, Axis:sovA Chicago, Illinois
Oct 25 2009 8:00P
GOOD STYLE SHOP Madison, Wisconsin
Oct 26 2009 8:00P
TURF CLUB w/ Chinese Stars St Paul, Minnesota
Oct 27 2009 9:00P
RECORD BAR w/ Tut Tut, Goodwillies Kansas City, Missouri
Oct 29 2009 7:00P
KILBY COURT - early show w/ Kidneys, Stag Hare Salt Lake City, Utah
Oct 29 2009 9:00P
URBAN LOUNGE - late show w/ Palace of Buddies, Super Buttery Muffins Salt Lake City, Utah
Oct 30 2009 8:00P
NEUROLUX Boise, Idaho
Oct 31 2009 8:00P
THE NORTHERN - Halloween show w/ Little Claw, Tyvek, Christmas Olympia, Washington
Nov 1 2009 8:00P
FUNHOUSE w/ Little Claw, Brother Raven Seattle, Washington
Nov 2 2009 8:00P
LITTLE MOUNTAIN STUDIOS w/ Solars, Gross Xmas Vancouver, British Columbia
Nov 3 2009 8:00P
SOMEDAY LOUNGE Portland, Oregon
Nov 5 2009 9:00P
HEMLOCK TAVERN w/ Hank IV, Celine Dion 2013 SF, California
Nov 6 2009 8:00P
CONTINENTAL CLUB w/ Sic Alps, Jaws Oakland, California
Nov 7 2009 8:00P
LUIGI’S SLICE w/ The Duchess and the Duke, Greg Ashley Sacto, California
Nov 8 2009 8:00P
THE CREPE PLACE w/ Lucky Dragons, Javelin Santa Cruz, California
Nov 9 2009 7:00P
CROSSROADS w/ Fancie San Luis Obispo, California
Nov 10 2009 8:00P
UC IRVINE w/ Pocahaunted, The Light Rays, Dash Jacket Irvine, California
Nov 11 2009 8:00P
SYNCHRONICITY w/ Pocahaunted, 60 Watt Kid, Peter Kosolov L.A., California
Nov 12 2009 9:00P
SODA BAR w/ Spirit Photography, Heavy Hawaii San Diego, California
Nov 13 2009 7:00P
TRUNK SPACE Phoenix, Arizona
Nov 16 2009 8:00P
MABLE PEABODY’S w/ Fungi Girls, Darktown Strutters, Silver Shampoo Denton, Texas
Nov 17 2009 8:00P
THE MOHAWK w/ The Young, Expensive Shit, The Vitamins Austin, Texas
Nov 18 2009 8:00P
MANGO’S w/ The Wiggins Houston, Texas
Nov 19 2009 8:00P
ALLWAYS LOUNGE New Orleans, Louisiana
Nov 21 2009 9:00P
DINO’S w/ The Cherry Blossoms, Ttotals Nashville, Tennessee
Nov 22 2009 8:00P
HARVEST RECORDS Asheville, North Carolina
Nov 23 2009 8:00P
NIGHTLIGHT Chapel Hill, North Carolina

KV 'Freak Train' Music Video

Take a peak and watch him make love to the camera. A brief glimmer of excellent casting in the final 30 seconds or so.