It's Just the Goddamn Truth

From the source...

The Big Auf-Wiedersehen In The Sky. Final Show Details.
Current mood: adored
Category: Life

Clockclean Er will perform for the last time in public on April 18th 2009 at 1248 N Front st. Philadelphia, PA. There are 120 tickets available. If you wish to attend you must first send a cursory request to attend in writing to clockcleanerlastshow@yahoo.com. If you are allowed to attend you will be given a link and allowed to purchase 2 tickets. There is no guest list and we will keep a running tally of who and who is not allowed to attend. If you pass the ticket link onto a friend or simply purchase a ticket we will know you or outside party did not ask permission and you will be denied entry. Tickets on sale now. The supporting acts are Lamps, the Homostupids and Pink Reason.
Thank you.

MUSIC FOR YOUR METHLAB for DOWNLOAD

Here's a treat: 2 non-consecutive broadcasts of MUSIC FOR YOUR METHLAB all bundled up and available for download on sendpace.com where they send big files the easy way. Playing all manner of guitar-driven rock music made by dirtbags for a dirtbag audience, MUSIC FOR YOUR METHLAB delights Philadelphia area listeners on terrestrial radio each and every Thursday morning at drive-time from 7 to 9AM on 91.7 FM and on the web at wkdu.org.

Here's the playlist from February 19, with a clunker out the gates and a hot streak of American Midwest HC down the stretch...

Mittagspause – Herrenreiter
So Cow – Moon Geun Young
Gods Gift – Discipline
The Sussed – I Wanna Conform
Aus Lauter Liebe – Ein Herz in Not
Suzannes – Teenage Abortion
Squad – Red Alert
Last Rights – Chunks
Dogs – Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl
GG Allin – I Live To Be Hated**
Chain Gang – Satanic Rockers**
Killdozer – Man vs. Nature**
Die Kreuzen – In School (demo)**
Necros – Police Brutality (single)**
Negative Approach – Your Mistake**
The Fix – Vengeance (EP)**

Die Kreuzen – Land of Treason**
Bored Youth – Outcast**
Big Black – Cables (live)**
Skrewdriver – You're So Dumb
Group Bombino – Amidinine*
Romford Stompers – Dead Girls
Predator – Punk Man
S.Y.P.H. – Lachleute & Nettmenschen
Rivals – Skateboarding in the U.K.
Homosexuals – Nippon Airways
Cro-Mags – Malfunction*
Mayyors – Airplanes
Homostupids – Waiting for the House

Homosexuals – Jesus
Blues Control – Snow Day*
Art Attacks – Punk Rock Stars
Ruefrex – Capital Letters
Red Transistor – We're Not Crazy
Happy Flowers – I'm the Stupid One*
Culture – Two Sevens Clash
Suicide Squad – New Day in the Morning

* DENOTES PICK BY THE MONTHLY VISITOR
** DENOTES WORKFORCE BLOCK COURTESY OF THE MONTHLY VISITOR

And here's the download links, each 1 hour long...

7-8am - http://www.sendspace.com/file/mbm0k9
8-9am - http://www.sendspace.com/file/3hdjcf

And here's one from the vaults... November 6 2008, still high from the Philadelphia Phillies triumphant romping of the Rays in the 2008 Fall Classic.

Playlist..

The Gun Club – Preaching the Blues
Dust – Chasin' Ladies
Tits – We're So Glad Elvis Is Dead
Vopo's – I'm So Glad the King Is Dead
Amon Düül II – Archangels Thunderbird
Stooges – Down on the Street
Slugfuckers – Schizo Revolution
4-Skins – One Law for Them
Sun City Girls – Let's Just Lounge
Screamers – Sex Boy
No Trend – Mass Sterilization Caused By Venereal Disease (12")
Brainbombs – Sadist Action
Holocaust – Heavy Metal Mania
Venom – Acid Queen*
Motörhead – The Watcher*
Real Kids – Do the Boob
Germs – Land of Treason*
Psychedelic Horseshit – Portals*
Drunks with Guns – Melissa Explains It All
Kurt Vile & the Violators – Good Lookin' Out*
Homosexuals – Snapshots of Nairobi (instrumental) + Charlie Watts (vocal) + Flying
Yoko Ono/Plastic Ono Band – Why*
Rocket from the Tombs – Life Stinks*
Melvins – Antitoxidote
The Stereo Shoestring – On the Road South
Sprung aus den Wolken – Sei Still
Homostupids – Taping the Worm
Pentagram – Lazy Lady
Primitive Calculators – Casualty Ward + Glitter Kids

* DENOTES PICK BY THE MONTHLY VISITOR

And here's your download...

7-8am - http://www.sendspace.com/file/gy5yf0
8-9am - http://www.sendspace.com/file/rcspa8

You're welcome.

Evening DJ'ed Social Event

DJ'ed Social Event
Friday Feb 20
@ Atlantis, The Lost Bar
2442 Frankford Ave

John Joseph "I Got Your Back" After-Party
No Cover. No baggy clothes and no weapons.

Music for your Methlab on WKDU

Music for your Methlab host Sully, pictured at left.



How would you feel about a visit tomorrow?

Sully: The Monthly Visitor is due for an appearance. I insist. My listeners will appreciate your on-air personality and they'll drool over your timeless musical choices.

Can I play the Cro Mags?

Sully: Absolutely.

How about the Happy Flowers?

Sully: Sure.

Listen to Music for your Methlab each and every Thursday morning at drive-time, 7 to 9 AM EST, on WKDU 91.7 FM in Philadelphia and/or online at WKDU.ORG.

HOMOSTUPIDS MUSIC VIDEO

WAITING FOR THE HOUSE from THE BRUTAL BIRTHDAY E.P.

INTERVIEW W/ JESSE TRBOVICH

Jesse Trbovich, of the Violators, pictured on the left.



me: are you nervous about the gig?

jesse: No!

me: I would be. All those eyes staring at me.

jesse: I'm psyched... I need to play with those cats and vent some. This week has been mildly annoying...

Well, are they gonna close 'em during the Watery Love set?

me: Do you take out your frustrations on your baritone guitar?

jesse: Well, sometimes... I'm actually doing fine. This morning was a little weird, and I've been busy at work this week...

Seriously though: I'm not nervous.

Sent at 2:40 PM on Wednesday

See Jesse w/ KURT VILE & THE VIOLATORS on Thursday Feb 12 @ Kong-Fu Necktie at Front & Thompson in Philadelphia. opening acts: WATERY LOVE, BOGAN DUST

SKULL PACK

Yo... exciting news. We were crawling out of a K-Hole and what did we find? Copies of Richie Records // TestosterTunes titles that were thought to be in short supply. So it's all going cheap. We've got monkeys on our backs and we need the cash.

THE SKULL PACK
4 releases
$17 by paypal to the US
$15 by check/m.o.

CLOCKCLEAN ER "Frogrammer" b/w "Early Man"
Perhaps Cleaner's most tuneful offering backed with a twisted staple of their live show. Punish your mother.




HOMOSTUPIDS "The Brutal Birthday EP"
Not much like other Stupids records. More like the FACTORYMEN. Your copy might arrive with a bent cover. Hand bent by a member of the group.


FNU RONNIES "Meat" 45
Debut from Philadelphia hard guitar group. Now bi-coastal. Keep an eye out for the forthcoming 12".




VIOLENT STUDENTS "Street Banger" cdep
Worthless live compact disc from 2006. Loud and slow and laden with the sound of shrieking girls wet for the Students.




So US residents should paypal $17 to TestosterTunes @ Gmail . com if you want it.
Individual copies of each release cost $5.50 by paypal to the US. $5 by check/m.o.

FEB 12 LIVE MUSIC :: KV & THE VAPORIZORS,, WATERY LOVE

THURSDAY FEB 12
9pm
@ FRONT & THOMPSON
Philadelphia PA

KURT VILE & THE VAPORIZORS

WATERY LOVE

BOGAN DUST

KURT VILE: OVERNITE KV

KURT VILE "Overnite KV" UK Tour CDEP
Richie Records // TestosterTunes Tour Support #1

So the Limey's couldn't afford to buy all the copies of this one. Well maybe they'll wise up someday. Kurt brought some home and we're liquidating stock. Out with the old and all that. Overnite KV boasts elegant bedroom noodlin' from our buddy's back catalog that fans of Constant Hitmaker will no doubt drool over and blog about. Buy it now b/c we don't have many left...

Tracklist:

1. _____
2. my sympathy
3. red apples
4. beach on the moon (recycled lyrics)
5. can't come
6. overnite kv
7. i know i got religion
8. losing it
9. wanna see god

So if you live in the USA, PayPal $7.00 to TestosterTunes at gmail . com straight away and we'll mail one to ya.

ANOTHER WASTED AFTERNOON playlist

Here's the playlist from ANOTHER WASTED AFTERNOON, TestosterTunes Radio on 1650 AM in Philadelphia from Friday January 16. Live from Nexus Gallery at the Crane Building.

No more or less miserable than any other Friday afternoon. Highlights include free pints of draft beer and playing an all-request Workforce Block. Lowlights include being discouraged from using foul language, an inability to take your phonecalls on-air, and some dude trying to peak at my root when I used the men's room. The urinal in this place is on a stage in the middle of the room with spotlights cranked up to 10.

Anyway, we took some Eagles predictions... Overwhelmingly in favor of the Birds. The Net prediction is 256-49 Eagles.

So here's the stupid playlist already...

Albert Ayler “Ghosts (2nd variation)
Universal Indians “Monster Approach”
Urinals “Hologram”
MC5 “I Just Don’t Know”
Velvet Underground “Train Round the Bend”
Charles Manson “Garbage Dump”
Misfits “Static Age” “TV Casualty”
Spits “I H8 Pussies”
Neil Young “Ambulance Blues”
YDI “Out for Blood”
Godz “Radar Eyes”
Pink Reason “Goodbye”
Wooden Shjips “Death’s Not Your Friend”

FNU Ronnies “Golem Smoke”
Plastic Ono Band “Why?”
Spacemen 3 “Rollercoaster”
Cheater Slicks “Thinkin’ Some More”

PiL “Poptones”
Rocket From the Tombs “What Love Is”
Capt. Beefheart “Candle Mambo”
Home Blitz “Stupid Street”
Psychedelic Horseshit "Portals"
Butthole Surfers “Something”
Tommy Jay “I Was There”
Taco Leg "Freemason's Hall"
Neil Young “Walk On”
Augustus Pablo “Well Red”
Fabulous Diamonds “2”
Bellemou & Benfissa “Li Maandouche L'Auto (He, Who Doesn't Own a Car)”

Swell Maps “Don’t Throw Ashtrays at Me” “Midget Submarines”
Neu! “After 8”
Fred Wesley & The JBs “Doin’ it to Death”

Bobby Digital “Mantis
New York Eye & Ear Control
El Rego Et Ses Commandos “Se Na Min”
Chrissy Zebby Tembo “My Ancestors
Peter Tsotsi, Nashil Pichen, & The Eqauator Sound Band “Pole Musa”

Wipers “Over the Edge”
4-Skins “A.C.A.B.” “Chaos”
Poison Idea “Its An Action”
Gang Green “Another Wasted Night”
Germs “The Other Newest One”
The Next “Mr. Wonderful”
Factorymen “Dominating the Sphinx”

Kurt Vile & the Violators “Hunchback”
GG Allin & the Jabbers “I Need Adventure”
Serial Killers “Gary Heidnik’s House O’ Horrors”
Cro-Mags “Seekers O’ the Truth”

WORK FORCE BLOCK
Skrewdriver “9 to 5”
AC/DC “Kicked in the Teeth”
Heart “Magic Man”
The Doors “Do It”
Black Sabbath “Never Say Die”
Guns N’ Roses “Anything Goes”
David Lee Roth “Yankee Rose”
Stooges “Not Right”
Aerosmith “Lord O’ the Thighs”

Gizmos “That’s Cool”
Oblivians “Viet Nam War Blues” “And Then I Fucked Her”
Dicks “Kill From the Heart”
Redd Kross “Cover Band”
Meat Puppets “Meat Puppets”
Black Flag “Annihilate this Week”

TestosterTunes Radio

Live Radio Entertainment… Expect discussion of the city’s budget crisis, the Philadelphia Eagles, an impeccable choices of pre-recorded music, and your phonecalls on-air.

Friday Jan 16
Noon – 4pm
1650 AM

Australia round-up..

Here's a wrap-up from the CLOCKCLEAN ER ARE AMERICAN SKINHEADS tour of Australia. This tour summary is not too exciting, but neither is Australia. Predictably, the native mates treated us like big-league cultural ambassadors from a truly first-rate land. The bushpigs? Well, they were wrapped in fine silks and offered as gifts to indulge our every desire. Let's just agree that the Chinese countries don't have a monopoly on geishas on the Pacific Rim.

Beyond their archaic views on women's rights, Australians are backward and retro in their adoration for the pop-singer called Pink and their steady whining about the American President called George Bush Jr. A stop in Australia is a lot like a 24-hour plane ride to the recent past. A recent past designed for weak babies. No one has cable, billiard balls are undersized, and no one can handle their liquor. In fact, they serve beer in little shot-glasses.

Anyway, here's some photos..

NAKED ON THE VAGUE in Sydney....



























An opening act in Perth...

















The Australian word for bird is "Magpie" and they're all fucking assholes.

Back in the USA

Well Cleaner is finished with Australia. Expect a real in-depth tour expose to be published on this very weblog. Highlights include words and pictures. Topics include chucking objects in the boot, whinging about magpies, and avoiding punishment and punishers.

For now, check out this youtube clip of the stupidest thing to ever happen on earth...

SKULLS OVERSEAS, CLEANER IN AUS.

Most dates with Sydney's NAKED ON THE VAGUE...

Phila Gig November 15

Los Llamarada
Hank IV
FNU Ronnies
Watery Love

Sat Nov 15
@ PiLam
3914 Spruce St
Philadelphia

Checking in with Mike Robinson of FULLY COHERENT.....

Well it's been a real whirlwind of an early autumn. First the Philadelphia Phillies entered the playoffs, and then they won the World Series. The Philadelphia Phillies are the World Champions of Baseball.

In similarly thrilling news, CLOCKCLEAN ER breaks its hiatus with tour of Australia. Pry your eyes open for the Aus. release of BABYLON RULES and the tour single titled SKINHEADED LADY b/w HATE CITY. Another thing to buy soon is the READY 2 FIGHT 12" on Fan Death Records.



And peep this.. we checked in with Mike Robinson of FULLY COHERANT. In 2005 FC released a single titled "Feel Dead EP". Four songs of guitar and spite and paranoia and probably trash cans. Since then there's been a couple of live gigs and a lot of aborted plans as this maniac keeps up a fruitless search in the corny town of Austin, Texas for suitable sidemen..

TestosterTunes: Yo bro what’s new with Fully Coherant?
Mike: Nothing really. Ive been sick and bassplayr is going out of town. In nov I’m goimg to try and pull it together to play maxs thing. I told him wantd to headline one of the nights just to be a prick but I don’t think hes into that idea. I think its great unknown local band headlining, shit it could be someone else and I think it would be funny. Guess I have to ‘pay my dues’ and play a bunch of shitty shit first ha

Well I figured that wouldn’t be a problem. Aren’t you real popular in Austin?
Ha ha I guess. There is hype tho and that’s all u need. And ladies and the ladies do love me. All those slightly puddgy mutant punk women throw aways ha ha. People will eat up anything. Im unhindered by talent.

I’m in Atlantic City. Any advice for me?

Never been there. Casinos and ho’s!
When are we going to hear some new music?

Im matt muscling it up to make money to get the recording equipment for the next fc record. Otherwise its going to have buckets and shit and who wants that. Im going to get fat and a perm so they can call me reatard again

What r u doing there?

I’m at the roulette table trying to make enough cash to put out the next fc record

Ha ha once I make the cash to get the equipment il send u it.




You still on the night shift?

Nope. I do dinner now which is 4 to 11. Much better for my mind.

Do you get to listen to total chaos at work?

Ha ha if I wantd to. I got thru phases right now its 60s stuff. Use to rock cc and sst spot loved it.
Shit yeah, spot. I caught up with ginn a couple weeks ago.

Spot rules. I told john on how I tried to sell him on the idea of recording cc. He was sorta into it. Im eventually going to get him to do fc.
That guy recorded Jealous Again and New Day Rising. What makes you think he wants to monkey around with your one man band?

Duz obviously he knows we are austing first and last punk band and quality. Ha. Also ive spent 6 yrs hangin out with him at work, he loves the stuff and asks all the time when I’m playn again… Itl happen one day. I askd before and he seemed into it. Spot rules, a little weird but whatever.

What does he eat at the diner?

Whatever he wante man I don’t know. He fel off a stole drunk once and bustd his head open that was funny. That day he ate shit

So let’s be real. Is your new live band going to be better than the last one?

Of course. Instead of speed and booze I smoke weed and drink import beer.

Peace!

WORLD CHAMPIONS !!!!

WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS !!!!

Ok expect more updates in the near future.. interviews w/ musician types, gig announcements, record ordering information, etc.

GO PHILS!!

TV GHOST!! DAN DiMAGGIO IN PHILA!!

TV GHOST
DAN DiMAGGIO

Sat Oct 11
7pm, Early
@ Atlantis: The Lost Bar
2442 Frankford Ave

Bring Cash
Nothing's Free

NL EAST REPEAT!!!!! TV GHOST IN PHILA!!!! CLEANER IN AUS!!!!!

As if that ain't enough, don't forget to check out TV GHOST and Dan DiMaggio of Home Blitz in Phila on Oct 11 @ THE LOST BAR on Frankford Avenue. Showtime is 7pm, Early. Bring $5 to hand over to the bands, Cheap. 

And WATERY LOVE at the Khyber Bar in Phila. on Oct 16 w/ Bird of Maya and Pierced Arrows. 

And then check out CLOCKCLEANER on their tour of Australia at the end of November..

LIVE AT LUND -- SOLD OUT

BRAINBOMBS "LIVE AT LUND" is sold out. Do not try to pay me for one. It will not go well.

Try distributors like S-S, Bistro Distro, Florida's Dying, and Revolver.

Live Music Announcement

ATTN: East Coast & the South... DNA in the DNA Test Fest is this weekend in College Park, MD. It's a free two day event. TestosterTunes approved acts HOMOSTUPIDS, FNU RONNIES, KURT VILE & THE VIOLATORS, HOME BLITZ, and VEGETATIVE STATE make appearances. Don't miss it. More at myspace.com/dnainthedna

TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT!!!!!!!!

The 3rd Tuesday of the month is typically TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT. This month is no exception. TUES DAY JULY 15 visit Atlantis: The Lost Bar on Frankford Ave in Philadelphia to listen to the whims of Disk Jocks Democracy & Penetrator and guest Jack Rose. No Cover, 3$ Kenzinger Pints.

No More Preorders

NO MORE PREORDERS. BE PATIENT AND BUY YOUR COPY LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.

LEARN SOMETHING

Little People, Big World

Yo.. not a lot of news right now. Don't forget to bid heavily on these vinyl items on eBay. Stay tuned for big news.

eBay

FNU leaves home.. A trip to the American Midwest... other news

Yo freaks. How's this for some shit? It's spring cleaning time so we're making some room. Peep here for some items that you're going to bid heavily on. There's some stuff listed now and there'll be more in the near future.

And 3rd Tues Day Night Music Night is creepin' up. Tuesday May 20 at Don Rey's Atlantis: The Lost Bar in Philadelphia. Guest Jock Smilin' John Rambo will join residents Democracy and Penetrator this time around. Show up to listen to music, drink some drinks, and maybe get involved in a conversation.

Yo and FNU RONNIES are getting ready to roll over the PA TP and visit some of you losers in the American Midwest. We texted with Jim and Street Kyle after a gig in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Here's what they had to say..

Yo how the fuck was Allentown?

Jim: It kinda sucked. Lackluster crowd.

Street Kyle: Fucin shitty

Did the crowd applaud?

Yeah we were so bad though was funny. Plus a town is a shithole

You know the Midwest looks a lot like Allentown..

SK: The townys cant be as bad.

Excited that your fans will finally get to see you in the flesh?

JV: Hahaha, I guess. I was just reading about crystal skulls in Mesoamerica. Got me pumped.

SK: I’m lookin forward 2 it.

What new shit are FNU RONNIES fans going to buy?

SK: We got custum sweat suits and personalized coffee mugs.

Sweat suits and coffee mugs? Oh yeah?

SK: No. I think were just bringin 7s. We don’t have any Ts left though

J: We've got a tape coming out. Watchful Eye b/w Golem Smoke on drone errant. May have that ready 4 midwest. Maybe a cdr version of it. U writin a blog?

You gonna tear up some asses in the American Midwest?

J: Hmm, should I?

You know what I always say.. Go hard or go home.

Here's some spring and summer gig dates.. check here to learn more.

Upcoming Shows

( view all )

May 22 2008 8:00P	w/ tv ghost @ zoolegers	lafyette, Indiana
May 23 2008 8:00P	help...michigan, indiana, wisconsin...anybody?	in, wi, mich..., Michigan
May 24 2008 8:00P	abbey (wired fest) : w/ zero boys + more	chicago, Illinois
Jun 3 2008 8:00P	the Charleston w/ DRUNKDRIVER + FEELING OF LOVE (france)	brooklyn, New York
Jun 6 2008 8:00P	carabar: w/ el jesus de magico + necropolis	columbus, Ohio
Jun 7 2008 8:00P	??? tba = any takers???	somwhere in ohio, michigan
Jun 8 2008 8:00P	@ now thats class - w/ the homostupids	cleveland, Ohio
Jul 20 2008 8:00P	or 21rst ~ TBA --- W/ METH TEETH	PHILLY, Pennsylvania
Jul 25 2008 8:00P	dna in the dna test fest w/ KURT VILE+SATANIZED+TALL FIRS, and more	college park, Maryland
Aug 16 2008 8:00P	@ pi lam: VIVIAN GIRLS + CRYSTAL SLITS + HOME BLITZ	philadelphia, Pennsylvania

CLOCKCLEAN ER live VIDEO

Whoa this is only part of it but look at em go...

LIVE MUSIC In NY

CLOCKCLEAN ER
w/ Negative Approach

@ Southpaw in Brooklyn
Wed May 14 TwoThousandHate

April 6 Music Event in Philadelphia

Back in the USA.. one the finer shit-gaze groups visits Philadelphia. They are called Psychedelic Horseshit. Also on the bill.. CLOCKCLEAN ER and FNU RONNIES. Should be a fine waste of an evening.

TV GHOST LIVE IN Phila

TUES DAY MARCH 25
@ Atlantis: The Lost Bar
Frankford Ave & Hagert Sts
in Philadelphia

TV GHOST
[myspace.com/televisionghost]
performs lives
Resident DJs Democracy and Penetrator
play records
Guest Jock KURT VILE
also plays records

sxSw

YO PEEP CLOCKCLEAN ER SxSW dates over here.

And BLUES CONTROL over here.

FNU RONNIES "Meat" 45

The debut 45 by FNU RONNIES of Philadelphia is out now. Check out bistrodistro.com if you want to purchase a single copy. Send an email to TestosterTunes@gmail.com if you want 10x or more for some reason. Send an email to TestosterTunes@gmail.com if you want to send $30 via PayPal if you live in the U.S.A. for 4 items: a) FNU RONNIES "Meat" 45 on white vinyl, b) CLOCKCLEAN ER "Frogrammer b/w Early Man" on regular black vinyl, c) HOMOSTUPIDS "The Brutal Birthday EP" also on regular vinyl, and 4) VIOLENT STUDENTS "self titled" compact disc on Parts Unknown Records. Quantities are mad limited and you'd better act soon if you're not a fucking poser.

VEGETATIVE STATE !!!

Two-Thousand-Hate is finally here. What a goddamn relief. THIRD TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT resumes this week.. Jan 15 at Atlantis/The Lost Bar @ Frankford & Hagert Sts. in Philadelphia. Guest Jock Scott "Sully" Sullivan will show up this time around. Next month Jack Rose is threatening to show up and give a lesson on the later CHROME records..

More news to follow.. for now, here's an interview with VEGETATIVE STATE out of Columbus Ohio...

Questions answered by Tim the bass player and his boyfriend Jamal.


How long has VEGETATIVE STATE been a band?
A very early version of VS called the Problems formed in the fall of 2004. Our first guitar player was emo and hated all the music we liked so we kicked his stupid ass out. For a couple of months we practiced and managed to get pay to play shows with shitty emo bands at frat bars. It felt very isolating. It wasn't until we started playing with the Feelers that it got real interesting. We've had constant lineup changes on the guitar. Our second guitarist left because he wanted to play different music, but what the hell. We've been around for three years and have gotten the most done in the last year.

What's your favorite thing about Terry Shaivo?
When her story was all over the news, I was quite intrigued by it all. Her oblivious smile was really fucking funny, and it was just pathetic how the anti-choice and pro-death people used her as a piece of meat. Sell some papers, get the ratings, spread the venereal-like agenda. If they could exploit her, why can't we? I remember in the early days, we made a couple of posters of her with a carrot in her mouth and showed them to people. The only time they found it funny was if they were either drunk or under 16. but I have to say my favorite thing about her is that she was a good sport about it.

What’s your favorite non-hardcore record?
(Andrew)Closing Of Winterland 1978- Grateful Dead
(Adam) In The Aeroplane Over the Sea- Neutral Milk Hotel (Alex) The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn- Pink Floyd
(Ryan) Is This It?- the Strokes (Tim) Tie between "Live At Leeds" by the Who and "Daydream Nation" by Sonic Youth

What is your favorite part about having sex with your teacher?
Most of the teachers at my school are cunts but like many child molesters, we go tooling, but instead of little kids its teachers. Its great because you can talk about current events while the slut blows you instead of having to answer "of course you look ravishing" for the millionth time. If you're not careful, the whole situation can turn bad as in she'll want to call you the next day, and the whole thing will turn into a bad Lifetime movie. That's why you always have to give fake phone numbers. In this kind of work, you don't have time for "relationships". Keep on tooling for teacher anus.

VS plays shows with some pretty childish bands in Columbus. Do you ever feel too mature for your audience?
At first, we were real nervous about our crowd but after playing and going to so many shows, and meeting lots of people, it doesn't feel as bad anymore. Its funny because a lot of the older people in the Columbus "scene" attempt to teach us life lessons but those people are either drunk or have the humor of a 16 year old. It’s still nice though. The childish people are the fucking hipster douches that show up sometimes with their scarves and "ironic" shirts. They are just too cool to notice us as they sit at the bar drinking whatever piss they picked that night. They are there just to be seen and look cool. We can see right through your plastic mac.

Isn't there some beef between you and that guy from CLOCKCLEAN ER? What the fuck dude?
He was just jealous of my DRI tattoo. It was the Four of A Kind album cover that was on my arm. Some people are just a little envious. And they didn't even make out with me. That felt like a slap to the face. Now I know how Tu Pac felt when Biggie betrayed him. This will end being bigger than Tu Pac and Biggie or Oasis aand Blur. Its your choice o' cleaners of the clock. Next time you cowpokes are in deez here parts, expect a bucket of fresh jenkem to splatter you. We have the technology. Lulz.

Ever gang-banged the librarian?
That's kind of fantasy for me. A sultry siren of a librarian asking me if I needed "reference" material, while I ask her if she wants to see my Dewey decimal system. Very horrorshow. We could add them on with the teachers. You know you've come far when you used to attack homeless drunks but now you fuck librarians.

Is it tough being the best band in your high school?
Two of us go to an all boys school which means no pussy, no fun, but most importantly, no culture. Music is Jack Johnson and Dave Matthews and the guitar is a novelty toy. The bands at the other schools are all fucking awful, and whenever we play our singer's school, people just clear the room. But when the pretty boy Emo fags start playing, the place is packed. Its always funny seeing all the girls taking pictures of those bands to put on their myspace. In the meantime we yell shit about towelheads and get called racists because everything is foamwrap PC nowadays. But I know that we are doing something different and being rejected for it while they play this asinine 2000's Hair Metal. at least we can say we've played with a shitload of our favorite bands and those are the bands they'll be writing books about. Hair Metal of the 2000's will the fodder as as many jokes as 1980's hair metal. But I hope we can be at most a footnote.

What VEGEATATIVE STATE records can suckers buy?
Our first 7 is down to 45 copies that you can get from us, and a couple of distro sites might have it.

Any new ones on the way?
Our new album "Basement Mantra" is done and you can get on CdR from us at shows but it should be out in the near future on Parts Unknown. Viva la Knotts!

Oh Right. Whats with Vegetative State and Don Knotts? We wanted our own Eddie, so we resurrected the corpse of Mr. Knotts. He is our spiritual leader and drinking buddy.

learn more about VS by clicking on this link: LINK.

We Salute YOU

MVP

Western Humiliation Tour 2007

Oct 27 2007 8:00P
Now That’s Class w/ Homostupids & Wolfdowners Cleveland Ohio

Nov 1 2007 8:00P
Beerland w/ Jay Reatard & Evil Army Austin

Nov 4 2007 8:00P
6th St. Warehouse w/ Lamps + Mika Miko Los Angeles

Nov 6 2007 8:00P
Hemlock Tavern San Francisco

Nov 8 2007 8:00P
The Backspace Portland, Oregon

Nov 9 2007 8:00P
Fun House Seattle

Nov 10 2007 8:00P
Le Voyeur Cafe and Lounge w/ Sex/Vid Olympia

Nov 12 2007 8:00P
TBA Missoula, Montana

Nov 14 2007 8:00P
TBA Minneappolis

Nov 15 2007 8:00P
Linneman’s Riverwest Commons Milwaukee

Nov 16 2007 8:00P
TBA -almost done. Detroit, Michigan

Nov 18 2007 8:00P
Subterranean w/Daily Void and Deathers. Chicago, Illinois

Nov 19 2007 8:00P
Carabar Columbus, Ohio

Nov 20 2007 8:00P
TBA Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Advice for Men

A Killing

Well it's been a shitty couple of weeks. The Phils laid down and the Eagles can't keep it together. Well you gotta keep your head up. I intend to make some $$$ off a slot machine.

MIKEY WILD concert

mandatory donations

TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT

TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT
Oct 16, Nov 20, Dec 18

The 3rd Tuesday of each Month

@ the Lost Bar, Frankford Ave & Hagert St.
Philadelphia PA

Disk Jocks play vinyl records. Patrons drink beer, conversate quietly, tip the barmaid, shoot pool, gaze at a fish tank, step outside to smoke, etc.

Home Blitz & Kurt Vile & more tonight

Peep this animated online flier and show up at the gig tonight. Bring 5$. No canned food, no sliding scale, no whiners. This ain't no flea market. Beer at the bar.

Wake Up 2 Da Real Deal

YO LOSERS

Look forward to new releases from

FNU RONNIES

BLUES CONTROL

THE PROFOS

OVERT HOSTILITY

VIOLENT STUDENTS

LIFE SUCKS

Pink Reason & TV Ghost instore

Before the nighttime electric gig, check out..

PINK REASON (special & acoustic. Expect covers of Fear, GG, Agent Orange, & Fang)
TV GHOST (Lafayette, IN. underage and critically acclaimed.)

THIS SUNDAY 8/26
3pm
@ the Marvelous
208 S. 40th st
Philadelphia

The Marvelous is a book and record store in University City which specializes in printed pages and recorded music.

PINK REASON Aug 26 @ Johnny Brendas in Phila

Also.. Some CLOCKCLEAN ER dates on the East Coast

Aug 25 2007 8:00P	Valentines w/ The WARDS	Albany, New York
Aug 30 2007 8:00P	Black Cat Backstage w/ Deerhunter	Washington DC, Washington DC
Sep 8 2007 3:00P	ERMP @ East River Ampitheatre	NYC, New York
Sep 13 2007 8:00P	First Unitarian Church	Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Sep 29 2007 8:00P	Record Release Presentation of "Babylon Rules" TBA	Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Oct 10 2007 9:00P	Johnny Brenda's w/ QUI	Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

CLOCKCLEAN ER on the COVER of a NE@WSPAPER

The PW finally found a topic worth the cover price. It's an essay about the premier group in the Skull Music Movement: CLOCKCLEAN ER. It re-treads ancient history and takes liberties with quotations from the principles, but you might as well read it over here.