Saturday, December 27, 2008

Australia round-up..


Here's a wrap-up from the CLOCKCLEAN ER ARE AMERICAN SKINHEADS tour of Australia. This tour summary is not too exciting, but neither is Australia. Predictably, the native mates treated us like big-league cultural ambassadors from a truly first-rate land. The bushpigs? Well, they were wrapped in fine silks and offered as gifts to indulge our every desire. Let's just agree that the Chinese countries don't have a monopoly on geishas on the Pacific Rim.

Beyond their archaic views on women's rights, Australians are backward and retro in their adoration for the pop-singer called Pink and their steady whining about the American President called George Bush Jr. A stop in Australia is a lot like a 24-hour plane ride to the recent past. A recent past designed for weak babies. No one has cable, billiard balls are undersized, and no one can handle their liquor. In fact, they serve beer in little shot-glasses.

Anyway, here's some photos..

NAKED ON THE VAGUE in Sydney....



























An opening act in Perth...

















The Australian word for bird is "Magpie" and they're all fucking assholes.




Sunday, December 14, 2008

Back in the USA

Well Cleaner is finished with Australia. Expect a real in-depth tour expose to be published on this very weblog. Highlights include words and pictures. Topics include chucking objects in the boot, whinging about magpies, and avoiding punishment and punishers.

For now, check out this youtube clip of the stupidest thing to ever happen on earth...

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Checking in with Mike Robinson of FULLY COHERENT.....

Well it's been a real whirlwind of an early autumn. First the Philadelphia Phillies entered the playoffs, and then they won the World Series. The Philadelphia Phillies are the World Champions of Baseball.

In similarly thrilling news, CLOCKCLEAN ER breaks its hiatus with tour of Australia. Pry your eyes open for the Aus. release of BABYLON RULES and the tour single titl
ed SKINHEADED LADY b/w HATE CITY. Another thing to buy soon is the READY 2 FIGHT 12" on Fan Death Records.



And peep this.. we checked in with Mike Robinson of FULLY COHERANT. In 2005 FC released
a single titled "Feel Dead EP". Four songs of guitar and spite and paranoia and probably trash cans. Since then there's been a couple of live gigs and a lot of aborted plans as this maniac keeps up a fruitless search in the corny town of Austin, Texas for suitable sidemen..

TestosterTunes: Yo bro what’s new with Fully Coherant?
Mike: Nothing really. Ive been sick and bassplayr is going out of town. In nov I’m goimg to try and pull it together to play maxs thing. I told him wantd to headline one of the nights just to be a prick but I don’t think hes into that idea. I think its great unknown local band headlining, shit
it could be someone else and I think it would be funny. Guess I have to ‘pay my dues’ and play a bunch of shitty shit first ha

Well I figured that wouldn’t be a problem. Aren’t you real popular in Austin?
Ha ha I guess. There is hype tho and that’s all u need. And ladies and the ladies do love me. All those slightly puddgy mutant punk women throw aways ha ha. People will eat up anything. Im unhindered by talent.

I’m in Atlantic City. Any advice for me?

Never been there. Casinos and ho’s!
When are we going to hear some new music?

Im matt muscl
ing it up to make money to get the recording equipment for the next fc record. Otherwise its going to have buckets and shit and who wants that. Im going to get fat and a perm so they can call me reatard again

What r u doing there?

I’m at the roulette table trying to make enough cash to put out the next fc record

Ha ha once I make the cash to get
the equipment il send u it.




You still on the night shift?


Nope. I do dinner now which is 4 to 11. Much better for my mind.

Do you get to listen to total chaos at work?


Ha ha if I wantd to. I got thru phases right now its 60s stuff. Use to rock cc and sst spot loved it.
Shit yeah, spot. I caught up with ginn a couple weeks ago.

Spot rules. I told john on how I tried to sell him on the idea of recording cc. He was sorta into it. Im eventually going to get him to do fc.
That guy reco
rded Jealous Again and New Day Rising. What makes you think he wants to monkey around with your one man band?

Duz obviously he knows we are austing first and last punk band and quality. Ha. Also ive spent 6 yrs hangin out with him at work, he loves the stuff and asks all the time when I’m playn again… Itl happen one day. I askd before and he seemed into it. Spot rules, a little weird but whatever.

What does he eat at the diner?


Whatever he wante man I don’t know. He fel off a stole drunk once and bustd his head open that was funny. That day he ate shit

So let’s be real. Is your new live band going to be better than the last one?

Of course. Instead of speed and booze I smoke weed and drink import beer.

Peace!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

WORLD CHAMPIONS !!!!




WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS !!!!

Ok expect more updates in the near future.. interviews w/ musician types, gig announcements, record ordering information, etc.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

TV GHOST!! DAN DiMAGGIO IN PHILA!!

TV GHOST
DAN DiMAGGIO

Sat Oct 11
7pm, Early
@ Atlantis: The Lost Bar
2442 Frankford Ave

Bring Cash
Nothing's Free




Tuesday, September 30, 2008

NL EAST REPEAT!!!!! TV GHOST IN PHILA!!!! CLEANER IN AUS!!!!!



As if that ain't enough, don't forget to check out TV GHOST and Dan DiMaggio of Home Blitz in Phila on Oct 11 @ THE LOST BAR on Frankford Avenue. Showtime is 7pm, Early. Bring $5 to hand over to the bands, Cheap. 

And WATERY LOVE at the Khyber Bar in Phila. on Oct 16 w/ Bird of Maya and Pierced Arrows. 
And then check out CLOCKCLEANER on their tour of Australia at the end of November..

Sunday, August 24, 2008

LIVE AT LUND -- SOLD OUT

BRAINBOMBS "LIVE AT LUND" is sold out. Do not try to pay me for one. It will not go well.

Try distributors like S-S, Bistro Distro, Florida's Dying, and Revolver.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


ATTN: East Coast & the South... DNA in the DNA Test Fest is this weekend in College Park, MD. It's a free two day event. TestosterTunes approved acts HOMOSTUPIDS, FNU RONNIES, KURT VILE & THE VIOLATORS, HOME BLITZ, and VEGETATIVE STATE make appearances. Don't miss it. More at myspace.com/dnainthedna

Sunday, July 13, 2008

TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT!!!!!!!!

The 3rd Tuesday of the month is typically TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT. This month is no exception. TUES DAY JULY 15 visit Atlantis: The Lost Bar on Frankford Ave in Philadelphia to listen to the whims of Disk Jocks Democracy & Penetrator and guest Jack Rose. No Cover, 3$ Kenzinger Pints.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

KURT VILE PUSHES BUTTONS!!!!!!!


In an ongoing campaign to embrace new technology... Here's an interview with Philadelphia's Constant Hitmaker.

Kurt Vile can play a guitar as well as he can operate a forklift and he has 25 brothers and sisters.


Check him out at upcoming live events on the east coast and check in with him @
myspace.com/kurtvileofphilly. Also look out for his HUNCHBACK single coming out on RichieRecords//TestosterTunes this summer.

Interview conducted using text messages and mobile telephones.

Yo ain't it mushroom season?

KV: Maybe it is rich, maybe it is... Ha ha ha!!! THAT kinda party time is POTENT.

So ur just strummin' an acoustic git on sunday?

KV SATURDAY day. Night as duo electrified... We re gonna eat this bag of mushrooms before we go on just like the beatles done back in york...

That block party is sat? Dude this VU documentary is full of d-bags and full of shit. Some snowboarder is talking about that tune Heroin

KV It's not a blockparty its in clark part with tons of deleted and fans... Yeah i remember the snowboarder! I think he plays his gay electric soon.

Ha yeah. That piece of shit has a sticker that looks like fire on his stupid ax. Did you finish those vocal tracks tonight?

KV No. i'm trapped in slow mode. Ill prob get inspiration after all the giggage. Maybe sunday. I listened to the b side though. Heard some edits...

Even doug yule gets some face time. At least mo tucker never stopped kicking ass..

KV You should give your girl some face time.(down there)

I'm not really in2 4play. You still want her to trim your wild hair or are you gonna tie it in a rubber band?

KV I want her to. I need her to. I got kicked outta every dang barber shop this side o the mississippi.

Yeah you look likd shit. Fucking yule sang candy says?!?! Allright goodnight. C ya at work tomorow..

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Little People, Big World

Yo.. not a lot of news right now. Don't forget to bid heavily on these vinyl items on eBay. Stay tuned for big news.

eBay

Sunday, May 18, 2008

FNU leaves home.. A trip to the American Midwest... other news

Yo freaks. How's this for some shit? It's spring cleaning time so we're making some room. Peep here for some items that you're going to bid heavily on. There's some stuff listed now and there'll be more in the near future.

And 3rd Tues Day Night Music Night is creepin' up. Tuesday May 20 at Don Rey's Atlantis: The Lost Bar in Philadelphia. Guest Jock Smilin' John Rambo will join residents Democracy and Penetrator this time around. Show up to listen to music, drink some drinks, and maybe get involved in a conversation.

Yo and FNU RONNIES are getting ready to roll over the PA TP and visit some of you losers in the American Midwest. We texted with Jim and Street Kyle after a gig in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Here's what they had to say..

Yo how the fuck was Allentown?

Jim: It kinda sucked. Lackluster crowd.

Street Kyle: Fucin shitty

Did the crowd applaud?

Yeah we were so bad though was funny. Plus a town is a shithole

You know the Midwest looks a lot like Allentown..

SK: The townys cant be as bad.

Excited that your fans will finally get to see you in the flesh?

JV: Hahaha, I guess. I was just reading about crystal skulls in Mesoamerica. Got me pumped.

SK: I’m lookin forward 2 it.

What new shit are FNU RONNIES fans going to buy?


SK: We got custum sweat suits and personalized coffee mugs.

Sweat suits and coffee mugs? Oh yeah?

SK: No. I think were just bringin 7s. We don’t have any Ts left though


J: We've got a tape coming out. Watchful Eye b/w Golem Smoke on drone errant. May have that ready 4 midwest. Maybe a cdr version of it. U writin a blog?

You gonna tear up some asses in the American Midwest?

J: Hmm, should I?


You know what I always say.. Go hard or go home.


Here's some spring and summer gig dates.. check here to learn more.

Upcoming Shows ( view all )
May 22 2008 8:00P
w/ tv ghost @ zoolegers lafyette, Indiana
May 23 2008 8:00P
help...michigan, indiana, wisconsin...anybody? in, wi, mich..., Michigan
May 24 2008 8:00P
abbey (wired fest) : w/ zero boys + more chicago, Illinois
Jun 3 2008 8:00P
the Charleston w/ DRUNKDRIVER + FEELING OF LOVE (france) brooklyn, New York
Jun 6 2008 8:00P
carabar: w/ el jesus de magico + necropolis columbus, Ohio
Jun 7 2008 8:00P
??? tba = any takers??? somwhere in ohio, michigan
Jun 8 2008 8:00P
@ now thats class - w/ the homostupids cleveland, Ohio




Jul 20 2008 8:00P
or 21rst ~ TBA --- W/ METH TEETH PHILLY, Pennsylvania
Jul 25 2008 8:00P
dna in the dna test fest w/ KURT VILE+SATANIZED+TALL FIRS, and more college park, Maryland
Aug 16 2008 8:00P
@ pi lam: VIVIAN GIRLS + CRYSTAL SLITS + HOME BLITZ philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

April 6 Music Event in Philadelphia



Back in the USA.. one the finer shit-gaze groups visits Philadelphia. They are called Psychedelic Horseshit. Also on the bill.. CLOCKCLEAN ER and FNU RONNIES. Should be a fine waste of an evening.

Monday, March 24, 2008

TV GHOST LIVE IN Phila

TUES DAY MARCH 25
@ Atlantis: The Lost Bar
Frankford Ave & Hagert Sts
in Philadelphia

TV GHOST
[myspace.com/televisionghost]
performs lives
Resident DJs Democracy and Penetrator
play records
Guest Jock KURT VILE
also plays records

Monday, January 28, 2008

FNU RONNIES "Meat" 45




The debut 45 by FNU RONNIES of Philadelphia is out now. Check out bistrodistro.com if you want to purchase a single copy. Send an email to TestosterTunes@gmail.com if you want 10x or more for some reason. Send an email to TestosterTunes@gmail.com if you want to send $30 via PayPal if you live in the U.S.A. for 4 items: a) FNU RONNIES "Meat" 45 on white vinyl, b) CLOCKCLEAN ER "Frogrammer b/w Early Man" on regular black vinyl, c) HOMOSTUPIDS "The Brutal Birthday EP" also on regular vinyl, and 4) VIOLENT STUDENTS "self titled" compact disc on Parts Unknown Records. Quantities are mad limited and you'd better act soon if you're not a fucking poser.


Sunday, January 13, 2008

VEGETATIVE STATE !!!

Two-Thousand-Hate is finally here. What a goddamn relief. THIRD TUES DAY NIGHT MUSIC NIGHT resumes this week.. Jan 15 at Atlantis/The Lost Bar @ Frankford & Hagert Sts. in Philadelphia. Guest Jock Scott "Sully" Sullivan will show up this time around. Next month Jack Rose is threatening to show up and give a lesson on the later CHROME records..

More news to follow.. for now, here's an interview with VEGETATIVE STATE out of Columbus Ohio...

Questions answered by
Tim the bass player and his boyfriend Jamal.



How long has VEGETATIVE STATE be
en a band?
A very early version of VS called the Problems formed in the fall of 2004. Our first guitar player was emo and hated all the music we liked so we kicked his stupid ass out. For a couple of months we practiced and managed to get pay to play shows with shitty emo bands at frat bars. It felt very isolating. It wasn't until we started playing with the Feelers that it got real interesting. We've had constant lineup changes on the guitar. Our second guitarist left because he wanted to play different music, but what the hell. We've been around for three years and have gotten the most done in the last year.

What's your favorite thing about Terry Shaivo?
When her story was all over the news, I was quite intrigued by it all. Her oblivious smile was really fucking funny, and it was just pathetic how the anti-choice and pro-death people used her as a piece of meat. Sell some papers, get the ratings, spread the venereal-like agenda. If they could exploit her, why can't we? I remember in the early days, we made a couple of posters of her with a carrot in her mouth and showed them to people. The only time they found it funny was if they were either drunk or under 16. but I have to say my favorite thing about her is that she was a good sport about it.


What’s your favorite non-hardcore record?
(Andrew)Closing Of Winterland 1978- Grateful Dead

(Adam) In The Aeroplane Over the Sea- Neutral Milk Hotel
(Alex) The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn- Pink Floyd
(Ryan) Is This It?- the Strokes
(Tim) Tie between "Live At Leeds" by the Who and "Daydream Nation" by Sonic Youth

What is your favorite part about having sex with your teacher?

Most of the teachers at my school are cunts but like many child molesters, we go tooling, but instead of little kids its teachers. Its great because you can talk about current events while the slut blows you instead of having to answer "of course you look ravishing" for the millionth time. If you're not careful, the whole situation can turn bad as in she'll want to call you the next day, and the whole thing will turn into a bad Lifetime movie. That's why you always have to give fake phone numbers. In this kind of work, you don't have time for "relationships". Keep on tooling for teacher anus.


VS plays shows with some pretty childish bands in Columbus. Do you ever feel too mature for your audience?

At first, we were real nervous about our crowd but after playing and going to so many shows, and meeting lots of people, it doesn't feel as bad anymore. Its funny because a lot of the older people in the Columbus "scene" attempt to teach us life lessons but those people are either drunk or have the humor of a 16 year old. It’s still nice though. The childish people are the fucking hipster douches that show up sometimes with their scarves and "ironic" shirts. They are just too cool to notice us as they sit at the bar drinking whatever piss they picked that night. They are there just to be seen and look cool. We can see right through your plastic mac.

Isn't there some beef between you and that guy from CLOCKCLEAN ER? What the fuck dude?

He was just jealous of my DRI tattoo. It was the Four of A Kind album cover that was on my arm. Some people are just a little envious. And they didn't even make out with me. That felt like a slap to the face. Now I know how Tu Pac felt when Biggie betrayed him. This will end being bigger than Tu Pac and Biggie or Oasis aand Blur. Its your choice o' cleaners of the clock. Next time you cowpokes are in deez here parts, expect a bucket of fresh jenkem to splatter you. We have the technology. Lulz.


Ever gang-banged the librarian?

That's kind of fantasy for me. A sultry siren of a librarian asking me if I needed "reference" material, while I ask her if she wants to see my Dewey decimal system. Very horrorshow. We could add them on with the teachers. You know you've come far when you used to attack homeless drunks but now you fuck librarians.


Is it tough being the best band in your high school?

Two of us go to an all boys school which means no pussy, no fun, but most importantly, no culture. Music is Jack Johnson and Dave Matthews and the guitar is a novelty toy. The bands at the other schools are all fucking awful, and whenever we play our singer's school, people just clear the room. But when the pretty boy Emo fags start playing, the place is packed. Its always funny seeing all the girls taking pictures of those bands to put on their myspace. In the meantime we yell shit about towelheads and get called racists because everything is foamwrap PC nowadays. But I know that we are doing something different and being rejected for it while they play this asinine 2000's Hair Metal. at least we can say we've played with a shitload of our favorite bands and those are the bands they'll be writing books about. Hair Metal of the 2000's will the fodder as as many jokes as 1980's hair metal. But I hope we can be at most a footnote.


What VEGEATATIVE STATE records can suckers buy?

Our first 7 is down to 45 copies that you can get from us, and a couple of distro sites might have it.


Any new ones on the way?

Our new album "Basement Mantra" is done and you can get on CdR from us at shows but it should be out in the near future on Parts Unknown. Viva la Knotts!

Oh Right
. Whats with Vegetative State and Don Knotts? We wanted our own Eddie, so we resurrected the corpse of Mr. Knotts. He is our spiritual leader and drinking buddy.


learn more about VS by clicking on this link: LINK.